Chicken soup and not much more

Well, I officially survived the first two days 🙂 . Like I said, at first very few foods are allowed and apart from the grape juice and mint tea they were not really my taste.

Monday started kind of weird. Instead of making my usual smoothie I had to grab my book to see what to do. I made a “baked cheesecake” with carrots. It was edible, definitely not making it again. Lunch was two hard boiled eggs (the only decent way to eat an egg when not baked into something 🙂 ).

Sunday I started making my chicken soup. I had bought a whole chicken and borrowed a slow cooker from my neighbor. Chicken in de pot and cooker on, easy peasy. After a while the entire house smelled like chicken 🙁 (for people that don’t know me, I really don’t like meat or the smell of it). Later I added some veggies to give the broth a little bit more taste. The gross part was dissecting the chicken, but I did it, in fact, I even ate it. Well, few pieces anyway, still don’t like it. The broth was ok.

For dessert I had gelatin from grape juice with honey. Loooooooots of honey, I think I may have overdone a little. Friday I made gelatin for the first time and thought just grape juice would be sweet enough. Huge mistake, it was disgusting. I didn’t like the taste or the texture, so I threw it out. Wasn’t going to make that mistake again. So, second try, I added lots of honey. Still don’t like the gelatin. The taste is now ok-ish, but I really don’t like the texture of it. Since there was not much else except chicken soup, I ate some of it. Survived day one without hunger.

Day two, I definitely wasn’t going to make the “cheesecakey” stuff so I had carrot pancakes for breakfast. After all, who doesn’t like pancakes for breakfast? Actually I don’t, I don’t like warm breakfast, but eating gelatin for breakfast was far less appealing, so pancakes it was. I cooked some carrots, squeezed out the water, added some eggs and spices and started baking. They were ok, a little bit too eggy to my taste, but I think, when added some more carrots, it could actually work. Also I didn’t taste my spices (cinnamon, cloves and cardamom) anymore, so I need to increase that as well.
Lunch was a boiled egg, and I had already had 4 eggs in my pancakes. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten that many eggs in one day. Eggs are far better than meat, yet still not something I care for.

In the afternoon I decided to experiment with the gelatin. Lisa said she liked it, so I wanted to try to make some fruit gummies. I thought the regular recipe was a little bit too soft for a candy treat, so I used a little bit less juice. This time I also poured them into a mold to make “candies” out of it. Luckily she likes them, I’d rather have her eat these than store bought candy. I don’t like ‘m. They made me nauseas, there’s something about that gelatin stuff that doesn’t work for me. Since my food options are very limited, I decided to do another experiment. I took some of the gelatin and poured in a lot of extra juice. After a couple of hours in the fridge it had a jam-ish texture and was way more edible. Next experiment with gelatin will be making jam.

Today I can start adding new foods, yay!!!! This morning I started with banana pancakes (just one really ripe banana and 2 eggs and some spices). The first one was really great, I made it really thin and the spices were perfect. Unfortunately, they’re really sticky and fall apart easily so I made ‘m a little smaller and thicker. They’re still good to eat, just not as great as the first one. Next pancake experiment will be banana/carrot pancake. I guess cooking is my new hobby 🙁 .

So, how do I feel right now? My stomach is doing pretty good and I don’t have to go to the bathroom that often anymore. Nausea, which is something that’s usually there (just lightly, I won’t have to throw up and I can eat through it and it comes and goes) is still here for now. Having pretty high hopes for the future 🙂 .

Let food be thy medicine

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.

Today I started the so called Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD). The goal is to reset your (immune) system and find out what foods you can and cannot tolerate. The first couple of days you start with a very limited choice of foods; basically chicken(broth), eggs and cooked carrots and then, you slowly start adding new foods.

After my colonoscopy I noticed I felt a little better the first two days. Then, it gradually went back to the before situation. More or less by accident I stopped eating yogurt. I love yogurt and I used to eat it every morning, but about two weeks ago I ran out of yogurt and I was too tired to go to the store just to buy some yogurt. So, I decided to do without yogurt until I had to do groceries again. Later that week I had my appointment with my gastroenterologist (GI) and told him about my experience after the colonoscopy. He suggested I try either the SCD or Low FODMAP (the details are slightly different, but it basically comes down to the same). I choose the SCD (because it has a wider variety of allowed fruits) and started reading. Since regular yogurt isn’t allowed on the diet, I didn’t bother to buy yogurt anymore and about a week and a half later I realized I felt a little better and had some more energy. I know it may be a coincidence, but it did occur to me I had not eaten yogurt for over a week.

My GI gave me a referral to a registered dietitian who has experience with the SCD. Since it’s a very restrictive diet, it’s nice to have some help with it. My first appointment is in March, the earliest available moment. I didn’t want to wait that long to start with my diet so I took a week to prepare and started today.
This morning, my breakfast consisted of cooked carrot, an egg, dry curd cottage cheese (this doesn’t contain lactose, I had never heard of it, but luckily they sell it at whole foods) with some honey and cinnamon mixed together and baked for about 20 minutes. In the oven it actually smelled pretty good. I wish it had tasted as good as it smelled, but it was edible and it definitely beats eating meat 🙂 . The first two days will be most challenging, then I can start adding things back in to my diet. For now I will keep experimenting with the carrots.

Mr. M. is very supportive and he even said he will join the diet (for dinner), so I won’t have to cook different kinds of food. Since I still don’t like to cook yet, I really appreciate that and I feel blessed with such a supportive husband. Luckily (unprocessed) meats are allowed so that’ll make it a little bit easier for him.

Definitely to be continued 🙂 …


The art of fashion

A couple of weeks ago, I bought some fabric to make fabric panels. Since the prints are fashion related I wanted to hang them in Lisa’s walk in closet to be some day. Our plans shifted a little, so I’m not sure she will have a walk in closet, but I really like the prints and I think the panels will be really nice, so I want to make them anyway. Last week I was so happy to have a good day and I actually went out and bought some cheap blank canvases.


Next, I cut the fabric, folded it over the edges and stapled it on the back. Pretty simple. I think it took me about 15 minutes. Since I’m slightly OCD I had to check frequently to see if the fabric was in the right place and adjust it. If the fabric allows it and/or you’re not OCD it will probably take 5 minutes. Little time, little effort and great, unique wall art.

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One down, one to go 🙂 . I’m happy with the result and even better, Lisa was happy with the result.

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Ego wise

Maybe you read Ego logic in which I wrote about my challenge in dealing with Ego. One comment told how the advice to ignore Ego really made a difference to that person. It made me think, can I just ignore Ego?

What I found out is that Ego represents my young self (and I’m soooo curious how this is for other people, so if you’d like to share, please do). When I was young, I did not have a lot of coping skills, none actually. Basically it came down to trying really really hard to be perfect, hoping that would give me the love and attention I longed for so much. Anything that questioned that perfection was a threat. Ego tried to protect my young self by defending me against anything that threatened my perfection and therefor my chance on love and attention.

It makes perfect sense. It also made me see Ego in an entirely different perspective. Ego isn’t bad, Ego is just trying to survive in the only way it knows how. Knowing that, I can look at Ego with love and compassion instead of anger and annoyance.
Ego is usually the first to speak up and now, I listen. I listen to what is has to say and I thank it for speaking up and trying to protect me. Then, I tell Ego that I’m a grown up now and that I now know a whole bunch of survival skills and that I can and will handle the situation and it doesn’t have to worry. When I do that, it will slowly back off. Still skeptical, but willing to give it a chance.

For me, this works so much better. I can try to ignore Ego, but that would mean ignoring a part of myself. And if I ignore a part of myself, I’m ignoring myself, the very thing I dread so much. Second, I’m ignoring (part of) the problem and you can’t solve a problem when your ignore it.
Ignoring Ego would just cause it to speak louder and louder until it feels it’s being heard, after all, that is its job.

Dealing with Ego is still a challenge and yet, I’m already starting to notice the difference and the impact of looking at and dealing with Ego in this way.