Maybe you read Ego logic in which I wrote about my challenge in dealing with Ego. One comment told how the advice to ignore Ego really made a difference to that person. It made me think, can I just ignore Ego?
What I found out is that Ego represents my young self (and I’m soooo curious how this is for other people, so if you’d like to share, please do). When I was young, I did not have a lot of coping skills, none actually. Basically it came down to trying really really hard to be perfect, hoping that would give me the love and attention I longed for so much. Anything that questioned that perfection was a threat. Ego tried to protect my young self by defending me against anything that threatened my perfection and therefor my chance on love and attention.
It makes perfect sense. It also made me see Ego in an entirely different perspective. Ego isn’t bad, Ego is just trying to survive in the only way it knows how. Knowing that, I can look at Ego with love and compassion instead of anger and annoyance.
Ego is usually the first to speak up and now, I listen. I listen to what is has to say and I thank it for speaking up and trying to protect me. Then, I tell Ego that I’m a grown up now and that I now know a whole bunch of survival skills and that I can and will handle the situation and it doesn’t have to worry. When I do that, it will slowly back off. Still skeptical, but willing to give it a chance.
For me, this works so much better. I can try to ignore Ego, but that would mean ignoring a part of myself. And if I ignore a part of myself, I’m ignoring myself, the very thing I dread so much. Second, I’m ignoring (part of) the problem and you can’t solve a problem when your ignore it.
Ignoring Ego would just cause it to speak louder and louder until it feels it’s being heard, after all, that is its job.
Dealing with Ego is still a challenge and yet, I’m already starting to notice the difference and the impact of looking at and dealing with Ego in this way.