Thank you

Thanks to everyone who read my post on mental illness and for all the kind responses I got.
Honestly, after I put my post on facebook, insecurity hit big time. Why am I doing this? As if anyone wants to read this. With those 2 people I know I’m not exactly going to change the world. Ahhh, good old insecurity, always there when you don’t need it.

The nice feedback and the kind words that I received in response to my post were heartwarming and made me realize it was a good decision.
Also, it reminded me of the fact that there are a lot of people in one way or another being affected by depression (I’ll stick with depression, since that’s my field of expertise). It’s just that most people don’t talk about it.
And, not unimportant, it made me realize I need to be more open about it with the people around me. If they don’t know I’m having a rough time, they can’t help me. Well, dah…

It’s just time I actually start doing it. It doesn’t help that I’m not much of a talker and there’s also the problem (well, one of them anyway 🙂 ) that I’d like to pretend everything’s ok, and I’m pretty darn good at it, if I say so myself. The: “if you don’t say it aloud, it’s not there” strategy. Not very helpful, in case you were wondering.
And I don’t want people to think I’m whining by saying I’m not well so often (I have quite some days I’m not doing too great). And also, my good, is good considering how it usually is, that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m “normal” good .
But I have to put this aside, for myself, so people around me know what’s going on. But also for my daughter, because I want her to learn it’s not just ok speak about your feelings, but also necessary.

So, for everyone who cares; right now, I’m not doing too great. Winter is usually a hard time for me and I was actually hoping I’d do better now that the days are getting longer en sunnier. Unfortunately I’m not there yet. My challenge is to remind myself that my mind is playing tricks on me and that I have to be very careful what to believe and not. Also, I like to have contact, but feeling like this makes it hard for me to get in touch and even harder to actually go out and see people. Just know it’s not because I don’t care or don’t want, but just because I’m in a rough place at the moment.

Thank you to everyone who cares, for your kind words and being my friend. It really does mean a lot!



Comment by Thomas Claudius Huber on 2017-05-26 05:45:12 -0700

Thank you Sandra for sharing all this. What you write helps me a lot to understand mental illness more and more.

I love this: “I want her to learn it’s not just ok speak about your feelings, but also necessary”. Something I want my girls to learn as well. The kids need to learn that they can share the truth with those they love.

I hope you’re doing a bit better. Btw., I read a bit across your blog, I like what and how you write. Keep up your great writings, as you’re my favourite non-tech-blog. 🙂


Comment by Sandra Hoekstra on 2017-05-26 15:27:52 -0700

Hi Thomas,

Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m grateful to hear that my writing does actually help people understand mental illness better. Your girls are lucky to have you as their dad.